Notes from Bill’s memorial by Cyndia Cole and Val Innes
This story focusses on Bill Morrow’s journey as a Queer Elder. In one of his last outings, Bill was able to attend the first viewing of this slideshow in June of 2017 at the Arts and Health Showcase at the Roundhouse Community Centre. When we showed it again in July for the Honouring Our Elders Tea hosted by Qmunity, he was not well enough to come. Bill passed away on October 5, 2017. It was shown at the BC Provincial Summit on Aging the day after what would have been his 85th birthday.
Bill was the eldest member of Quirk-e which stands for Queer Imaging and Riting Kollective for Elders. He joined the group when Quirk-e started in 2006, and participated for eleven years.
During Bill’s 84 years he journeyed from the isolation and secrecy of being different to the embrace of a proud queer community. Bill lived the entire gamut of queer experience; being bullied as an outcast and outlaw, rejecting, hiding and trying to change his identity. With the support of others through liberation movements he transformed to become able to say, “I’m Out and Proud. I am a Queer Elder.”
Bill’s mother was born 1892 as the youngest of ten siblings in a pioneer family on the prairies of Manitoba. You can see the stiffness and sense rigid gender code of this bygone era.
Bill’s father was the youngest of nine children. He was injured by nerve gas while fighting in World War I. He supported the family on his meager Veteran’s Pension. Bill’s parents were in their forties when they married. Bill was their only child. This already made him different, odd and alone.
Bill was born in 1932 during the Great Depression in Victoria, British Columbia. Bill has a childhood memory of seeing Emily Carr pushing her monkey, Woo along with her dogs in a baby carriage. Before being recognized late in life as a great painter and writer, Emily, too was considered odd, quirky and maybe even queer.
A poster created by Bill and Judy Fletcher which appears in the Quirk-e Anthology, Basically Queer, shows what it was like for Bill. “in 1946. Queer – Fruit – Pansy – Faggot – Sissy. Verbal attacks on a fat, four-eyed, uncoordinated, nerd who was trying to be accepted.”
Bill also wrote, “Although there was some intervention in ‘normal’ bullying, queers knew there was no protection for them as they ‘deserved’ to be bullied. The attitude was that bullying made a man out of the person. Queers not only feared being rejected and teased but also feared being assaulted and expelled. The best happy ending queers could have was that they survived.”
Bill at his supremely Heterosexual High School Graduation in 1950 – Bill wrote, “I was sexually active in high school. I learned that not only was sex a sin but sex with other males was perverted. Still some boys explored sex with me.”
This graphic story images are from another collaboration of Bill with Judy Fletcher. It appears in the Bridge Generation, a previous Quirke anthology. Bill said, “When I was 14 a minister wanted me to stand before the congregation so they could ‘pray the gay away.’ But I resolved the sin problem by firing God, not showing up at church and deciding never to trust adults.”
Bill continued, “It took a lot of courage just not to be married. I took a single woman friend out to social occasions so neither of us would be hassled. I saw a psychiatrist to try to change my sexual orientation. He wanted me to have sexual contacts with women. I could only do so if I resorted to homosexual fantasies. Conversion therapy did not work.”
After more than half his life was over, Bill opened the closed doors, transformed his sense of self and built a fulfilling life. He blossomed gradually through several social movements. The first was in response to an epidemic. In the late 80’s Bill saw gay men living and dying with AIDS. He said, “They needed my help and I wasn’t afraid of them or of catching their disease.” He worked as a caregiver and found the courage to be open with those he cared for.
Next, after much searching, Bill found a spiritual community that would embrace him, not try to change him. In a piece titled “Gay Buddhist” he wrote, “In 1990 a friend introduced me to SGI Buddhism. They follow the teaching that ‘cherry, plum, peach or damson blossoms – all, just as they are, are entities possessing their own unique qualities [of enlightenment]’ which means diversity is welcomed and respected. I have found the practice of chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo has helped me to cope with life in a constructive and happy way.”
Engaging in Arts Activism with like-minded men and women was another giant step into the open. He turned the silences of his earlier life into survivals that are shared.
Bill said in his bio, “In 2006 I become involved with Quirk-e. I overcome my homophobia and became free. Now I make my own rules.”
With Quirk-e, Bill made images, wrote and read his stories. When he and Nancy Strider performed “Bill’s Ills,” they alternated a sad face with a happy face while detailing both sides in his health journey as an elder. With SGI he published an experience in New Century Magazine titled “Spirit, Mind and Body Working Together.”
In Quirk-e’s other performances Bill become Outspoken and had fun playing a role as the Pope.
His story became valued as part of the Living Library at the Vancouver Public Library.
Bill’s memoirs are published in all the volumes of Quirk-e writings. In the latest, Basically Queer: An intergenerational introduction to LGBTQA2S+ lives, his work will reach an international audience.
For his last 18 years, Bill lived with his chosen family of four at Spud Palace. Thirteen years before he passed Bill wrote “As the aging process confronts me, I know it will not overwhelm me and I will still have the fullest possible life.”
In contrast to the isolation of his earlier years, 80 well-wishers attended Bill’s Celebration of Life. He remains treasured by all these friends, especially for his warmth, wit and irreverent humour.
Bill produced this artwork for Quirk-e’s first imaging show in 2007. It reads “When did you decide to be a homosexual?” “You’re Queer at Your Age?” and “I never met a gay your age in the Orient!” Bill wrote about himself, “he is happy to be an old fogey. What is crazy in his behavior is now eccentricity. What the hell, he is Quirk-e!”
Bill’s pink t-shirt proudly proclaims, I commit to a Bully-free life. Bullying stops here.”
Credits
Director, Photographer and Storyteller: Cyndia Cole
Editor: Lorna Boschman
Mentors: Lorna Boschman and Sebnem Ozpeta
Created during grunt gallery’s 2024 Mount Pleasant Community Art Screen Digital Storytelling workshops. grunt gallery was founded in 1984 in Vancouver, BC with the vision to become an internationally renowned artist-run centre and further the practice of contemporary art. Through the exploration of our diverse Canadian cultural identity, we are able to offer public programming in the form of exhibitions, performances, artist talks, publications, and other special projects in the community. Our mandate is to inspire public dialogue by creating an environment conducive to the emergence of innovative, collaborative, and provocative contemporary art.
